for whyever,
I have faith that truth exists.
When I was young, I sought truth through drugs. Hallucinogens, Leary, Morrison, Huxley, all that. This undid many ravels in the knot of childhood residue, I became dis-invested in vanity. Truth I found: there is some sort of underpinning to all aspects of reality. Like physical time cannot be divided into discrete objects, matter is also intrinsically continuous.
Then came history, current events and obsessive reading. Let's call it a blind and unguided intake of mass amounts of information, the more the more stunning. I used my library card like an addict, read like a hoarder. I developed a fear of forgetting and an anxiety of not knowing. It seemed truth would not be revealed or discovered in the absence of complete knowledge. Truth I found: complete truth is intrinsically impossible to know.
Of course, I didn't believe that, so I turned to Physics. I thought, maybe if i get a phd in quantum mechanics and theoretical physics, I will access the truth. I believed physics would distill the universe into calculable equations, show that continuous underpinning. What ended up fascinating me was actually non-linear dynamics and meta-logic; and each of these seriously questions true causality. Truth I found: boundaries are intrinsically paradoxical.
But, how can I be a mathematician or scientist who doesn't actually believe in causality?
What about dimension shifts? How do objects continuously transition from zero to one dimension? Is infinity real? Is time tenseless or no? What value are models? What can we throw away?
What are the axioms of physics?
What are the axioms of ethics?
This post definitely got me to thinking...
ReplyDeleteThen there's this experiment that changed my foundation of reality.
http://p-i-a.com/Magazine/Issue13/Physics_13.htm
This article only outlines one of the global events they can now track and it continues to occur, without fail, during global tragedies such as earthquakes and tidal waves, etc.
It helps me to understand that math and science are our best feeble attempt to make sense of a world so far outside of our comprehension that we may as well be coloring outside the lines on a beginners coloring book. It's a set of created parameters we call truth and reality, based on a single drop of information from an entire ocean.
It also makes me keenly aware that we are much more powerful then we can conceive. Which brings me to Quantum physics where we not only do not understand ourselves and the world around us, but we directly create it!?!
It leaves a sadness in the loss of the comfort of the solid, measurable world of mathematics, but an exhilarating hopefulness in our ability to create tangible change and the power of our connectedness to one another.
...just some thoughts. :)
Rachel! I hear you. I just posted a new bit about anguish and Abraham, even about faith, which is new for me, ha!
ReplyDelete